New Lunch N' Learn Series On Dealing With The Toxic Perfectionist Launched

Meredith Gardner, Ph.D., founder of The Strategic Edge in New York City has announced a new Lunch N' Learn Series focusing on how to deal with, interact with, and adapt to the toxic perfectionist. More on this and dealing with various personality types can be seen at www.strategic-edge.com.

Gardner explains that perfectionism is defined as a personality trait that is characterized by one's attempt at flawlessness. This personality typically sets high performance standards which are often accompanied by critical self-evaluations and worries over what others think of them and their performance. Psychologists agree that there are a number of negative as well as positive aspects of having this type of personality trait.

Gardner points out that perfectionists are fair and objective people who ultimately only want to live a good life. They are accurate and orderly, viewing themselves as rational and principled. Others tend to view the perfectionist as reliable and hardworking.

"Perfectionists have a strong sense of purpose and high ideals," Gardner states. "They like to excel in whatever they do. Perfectionists are extremely detail oriented and methodical. Perfectionists sometimes come across as critical and judgmental. They have a harsh inner critic that sometimes spills over into their relationships with others. Perfectionists may become easily frustrated in group projects if they feel others are not 'pulling their weight'."

It has been observed that people with the maladaptive form of this personality type tend to deal with self-esteem issues. They are extremely self-critical and have a need for positive feedback from others to bolster their sense of self-worth. They may become very obsessed with other's opinions. Their need to strive for flawlessness, in combination with their extremely self-critical nature can leave them vulnerable to depression and intense anxiety. Sometimes they externalize their personal disappointments by focusing their judgment on those around them. Gardner points out that they don't always correct people to "be mean" or harsh, but rather because they have an inner desire to prevent others from making mistakes or getting hurt.

"The problem," continues Gardner "is often that perfectionists appear very judgmental and are regarded as mean and harsh, although that isn't their intention. My concern is how perfectionism plays out in the workplace. It's really tough to be the object of that critical someone's index or pointer finger absolutely pointing at you,"

Perfectionists vary in their behaviors, according to Gardner. Some strive to conceal their imperfections while others want to project an image of perfection.

"Others strive to have perfectionism in the workplace, insisting that the work rendered be perfect. It sure is tough to be the object of that critical someone's visible or invisible finger," Gardner states. "Most times you can feel the put down that you and your work just aren't good enough."

A list of the signs of a perfectionist and the downsides can be found at www.strategic-cio-solutions.com. Gardner says that overcoming perfectionism can be done and that perfectionists tend to have a keen eye for details. She says that as perfectionists slowly learn to interrupt those patterns of perfectionism, they can begin to shift their goal of pleasing others to one of pleasing themselves.

Gardner continues, "I recommend taking some time out to reflect alone and undisturbed about your life. Examine how you treat yourself when the perfectionist personality character overtakes the seat of power within you. Then, take a look at how you treat other people. Furthermore, reflect on the opportunity this pain and difficulty in your life brings you to experience true, unconditional self-acceptance. Michael Jackson revealed in a 1993 interview with Oprah Winfrey that he was a perfectionist and was never pleased with any of his work. It is suspected that his extreme perfectionism might have contributed to his depression. He died in 2009 from over-medication that led to a cardiac arrest."

Meredith Gardner, Ph.D., is a Certified Trainer with Enneagram Teachers in the Narrative Tradition and is able to accurately evaluate the descriptions of what people say about personality/behavioral characteristics. The Enneagram Professional Training Program (EPTP) was created by Helen Palmer and David Daniels, MD, in 1988 to train and certify Enneagram Teachers in the Narrative Tradition. During the past 25 years, more than 3,000 participants have attended the EPTP in 17 countries, and more than 1000 have become Certified Enneagram teachers. More on Gardner's accomplishments and credentials can be seen on her LinkedIn page at www.linkedin.com/in/meredithgardnerphd.